Tell her randomly one day you raped a 12 year old girl, in front of her mother, and served time for it.... over the internet in particular. Cuz it has better effect over something like MSN/LIVE or AIM... you know, it gives them that cliche creepy-stalker-pedo-omg-you're-gonna-get-raped sort of feel. Helps set the mood.
Trust me, even if you admit it's a joke, they will, by this time, be too freaked out and suddenly question everything and start to think more rational in an irrational manner... it's pretty fucking hilarious.
Alex: I'm gonna move to Mexico and fuck 9 year olds
Alex: did i tell you that I'm also a convicted sex offender, btw?
Girl: haha
Girl: is that so?
Alex: ja, did a few years for it
Alex: apparently the mother got angry and cried as I did it in front of her (i had tied her up prior). i guess who wouldn't really.
Girl: ?
Alex: well, yeah right?
Girl: no i dont understand the last part?
Girl: i mean
Girl: wait
Girl: so what did you actaully do to be charged
Alex: well, they charged me with rape basically, against a 12 year old girl. i did my time though
Girl: well, how old were u at the time and what did u do?
Alex: I was 18 or 19 i think
Alex: well, erm... I fucked her, basically?
Girl: hm
Girl: whyd you do that
Alex: cuz she was a hot 12 year old, you know? Just asking for it. makes sense ja?
Girl: haha not really
Alex: why so?
Girl: because shes fuckin 12
Girl: she dont know shit
Girl: and her body isnt even ready by that time
Girl: and its a huge fatty risk
Alex: well
Girl: that you apparently did your time for
Alex: she was well developed
Alex: some people mature faster
Girl: what Im wondering is why youre telling me all this
Alex: oh, just random thoughts
Alex: Are you gonna need a ride to the show btw?
Girl: nah I dont think so
Alex: you suuuure?
Girl: wait, so I forget
Girl: Im allowed to bring a friend? or no?
Alex: Nope. Can't bring in anyone else
Alex: why so?
Girl: blast
Girl: I dont like the idea of going to something like this without a friend
Alex: You have no idea how entertaining i find this.
Alex: How much of what I told you did you believe me? xD
Alex: I'm joking
Alex: I've never fucked a 12 year old
Girl: right
Alex: I was just trying to scare you
Girl: thats the stupidest shit ive ever heard
Girl: ha
Alex: hahaha
Alex: It worked though
Alex: cuz suddenly you wanted a friend and felt uncomfortable
Girl: first of all
Girl: I wanted to bring a freind anyhow
Alex: ah
Girl: regardless of what you say to me
Girl: Im not an idiot
Girl: I dont go out to LA alone
Girl: ever
Alex: Interesting
Girl: oh wellz
Girl: no show for me then
Alex: aight
Girl: thats too bad, but its my own policy. Im not an idiot, I dont just meet random people alone, Im a fucking 19 yr old chic with little defense.
Girl: and uh, your 12 yr old story isnt a good idea to tell people, real or not
Alex: Dude, no worries. You don't have to explain, I understand etc.
Alex: I know, but that's just the way
Alex: I am
Alex: I fuck around with people a lot
Alex: I basically put off a lot of people because of it... probably why I'm a big loner and have absolutely no friends or any long lasting social contact with anyone. Sometimes I think I'm not able to grasp "socializing" and "relationships" in any form or shape, simply because of the way I grew up. Does not compute, basically. So I find myself always questioning and very confused on whether what I 'feel' or 'say' or 'think' at the time, depending on the situation at hand, whether it'd be the appropriate or rather, what a "normal" person would do/say during the situation at hand, at that very moment in time.
Alex: i could blame the internet... but i'd be living a lie.
Alex: Although, it changes people... it will CONSUME YOU.
Alex: /b/
Alex: and umm
Alex: dunno... actually that's a lie, I don't frequent /b/... haven't in years years years.
Alex: I'm actually pretty laid back, affectionate, considerate and very caring in person though... as long as you don't spark anything, hurp durp.
Alex: probably a bit too much at times, actually... that's another thing I guess... people take advantage of it. Muh.
Girl: Im sure you are and I fuck around with people too, but I don't know... it's a shame I can't bring anyone along.
Alex: you weren't concern about that before? Why the sudden change of mind? xD
goes on for a bit more and eventually she no longer makes a sound/responds back HAHAHAHA
MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Yes yes yes, I know. I'm a horrible horrible horrible inconsiderate person to do such a thing to a girl. I get it etc. etc I get it.
Still... pretty hilarious.
HELP PAY OUR SERVER, PLEASE!
So was it your goal to get her to not come to the show?
No kidding. Smooth.
so you did not want to give this chick a lift ? why not just say no or was the troll to strong for you to handle lol
hahaha... weeeeeeellll... it got kinda messy... but uhhhh, rather than get into a looooong story about it... I think 'no' would have made it a lot worse... My plan was to get rid of her. I think she would have kept at it, had I said no. I had already repeatedly tried to give her the hint... but it kept backfiring on me. I even insulted her and her feelings at one point, in a way anyway... and she still kept at it. It's as if if I acted more like a cliche asshole she'd want to keep in contact all the more. I needed a way to completely turn her off from even thinking about me ever again etc. I'm not sure how I get myself into these situations... but it had to be done, i feel, in this manner. lawlz.
She hasn't contacting me since, so pretty certain it worked.
She basically wanted to use me to gain certain "things"... that's the best way I can put it, I think hah. So the goal was to get rid of her etc.
i lol'd
wow a girl gettin more attracted to a guy the more he treats her like shit . . . thats a new one . . .
Yuuup, pretty much. The fuck.
Nice moves, Mono-Casanovatron
Haha, nicely done Mono. Nicely done.
Deep down thats what women want
Eh, some girls have trouble taking no as badly as many blokes do. Your dedication to the cause is commendable, such effort should be applauded. She sounds very teen like... strange/obscure girls are so much more wholesome and refreshing, I can see motivation to cut her loose.
You were going well up until you said you were joking.
The answer to the question "why are you telling me all this" is "because I'm tugging as hard as I can right now, thinking about that night makes me so horny."
You should have kept going, "and then her Dad came home, so I knocked him out with a hatstand and fucked him while they both watched, and then I fucked their Daschund after I broke its legs. etc."
lol
Probably would have worked as well... but I didn't want to go overboard either, to the point wher she'd bring up: oh you're such a liar/joker etc... which would have been worse, as she'd feel in control of the situation at that point... which means she'd go back down to a her comfort zone/levels etc
I think the reason why I said I was joking at that point, was to test waters, basically.
mono you are a sick and wonderful mind.
Why thank you, dear sir :]
That is the best thing I've read all night.
reading more Fred Reed and found this quote which is relevant to the topic :)
Oh, so so true, in some cases. Ugh. lol.
felt like it was fitting to the thread.
This is how it's done.
Damn, maybe i should take some tips from this guy. HE A PLAYAAHHH:
lololol
Watch out, i'm on the loose:
D:
This thread is the best. And has taught me not to talk to give my address to strangers on the internet.
I'm glad it made a difference :3
Dude, sometimes you're on the mental level of a 13 year old /b/tard.
Duh, you wouldn't get this sort of humour from a 40 year old's mouth, as they'd actually be wanting to the rape the girl/boy
Me, growing up with a very plain vanilla and strict humor is a bore and always will be to me. I don't care about being cool or hip or socially accepted or morally/socially correct, I just wanna laugh :p